College Leavers Dinner 2018

It is customary for the leaving students of Bristol Baptist College to each say a few words at the Leavers Dinner each year. Sometimes these are emotional, often they are weird. 
I'll let you discern where my falls:

Tank fly boss walk jam nitty-gritty
You're listening to the rev from the big bad city
This is Gems spot
This is Gems spot

Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
So just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the Rev of a church over there

In West Cliff Baptist church reborn and raised
In a gay bar was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out relaxin being missional' cool
And sending up prayers outside the local school
When a couple of ministers who were up to some good
Started making noise in my neighbourhood
I got through one min rec and we all got scared
Sian said, "You're movin' with these siblings to the prince over there."

Her palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on her dress already, Ian’s chilli
She's nervous, but on the surface she looks calm and ready to drop essays,
But she keeps on forgetting what she wrote down,
The whole chapel goes so loud
She opens her mouth, but the words won't come out
She choking now, but Wayne’s still joking now
The clock's run out, time's up, over, wow!
Snap back to reality. Oh, there goes lucidity
Oh, there goes Kev, he’s always so busy
He's so mad, but he won't give up that easily,
oh no!

Money, sex and power
It ain’t funny
In a pastors world
Money, sex and power
Always crummy
In a pastors world
All the chaos I could do
If I had a little money, or some sex or any power too

I can see it in your eyes
That you despise the same old lines you heard the degree before
And though it's just a line to you, for me it's simply true
And never seemed so right before

I practice every day to find some clever lines to say
To make my meaning come through
But then I think I'll wait until gin at trin and I’m sitting on the couch with you
The time is right, the Drs got wine, the maps still wrong and, oh, the night's so blue
And then you go and spoil it all by saying something deep like "Non anxious presence”

Non anxious presence
What a wonderful phrase
Non anxious presence
Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries
For the rest of your face
It's Steves problem-free theology
Non anxious presence

Lis, Lis, Lis
Lis, Lis, Lis
Lis, Lis, Lis
There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
It’s everything you say, so can you teach us how to pray?
We’re easy, pft
Nothing you can make, that can't be made
No one you can save, that can't be saved
Nothing you cant do, so can we learn how to be you
Or is that just creepy?
All you need is Lis, all you need is Lis
All you need is Lis, Lis, Lis is all you need

We're no strangers to courses
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other wife
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna do the dishes or cook for you
Never gonna make you cry
Always gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie or promise not to do this again to you

So we’ll take
Each other's emails
'Cause we seem
To understand the urgency
Just remember siblings
You're the one thing
I can't get enough of
So I'll tell you something
This could be love
Because I've had
The time of my life
No I never felt
This way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to God
Yes I’ve had the time of my life
And I owe it all to God!